Why You Keep Failing to Achieve Your Goals—and How to Fix It

Watch the video below to learn why goal failure is common and how to set yourself up for success:

Why We Struggle to Achieve Our Goals

We've all experienced it before—setting ambitious goals, feeling motivated at the start, and then gradually losing momentum. Whether it's a New Year’s resolution, a fitness commitment, or a professional milestone, many of us struggle to stay consistent.

The problem isn’t always a lack of discipline or willpower. More often, the goals we set aren’t truly aligned with what matters most to us. Instead, they may be influenced by societal expectations, peer pressure, or the values of people we admire. If a goal doesn’t reflect what is personally meaningful, we will struggle to stay committed when challenges arise.

Rather than blaming ourselves, we should use setbacks as feedback—a tool to reassess our goals and ensure they genuinely align with our priorities.

Why Misaligned Goals Lead to Failure

Many people set goals based on external influences rather than personal values. For example, someone might decide to lose weight because they feel pressured by social norms, not because it truly resonates with them. When goals are not deeply meaningful, we are less likely to stay motivated, especially when progress feels slow or obstacles arise.

A common mistake is adopting goals based on comparison. We might see someone we admire and assume we should pursue similar objectives. However, if the necessary actions don’t align with our intrinsic values, we won’t sustain the effort required to achieve them.

The Key to Achieving Goals: Aligning Them with Your Values

To set goals that you will actually follow through on, they must be connected to what is most important to you. There are two ways to do this:

1. Set Goals That Naturally Align with Your Values – Before setting a goal, ask yourself: Does this truly matter to me, or am I doing it because I think I should?
2. Connect the Necessary Actions to What You Value Most – If a goal is important but the required actions feel difficult, link those actions to something that deeply matters to you.

How to Make Your Goals Meaningful and Sustainable

Step 1: Identify Your Core Values

Reflect on what is most important in your life. Ask yourself:

• What do I prioritize in my daily life?
• What activities naturally energize and inspire me?
• What do I consistently think about or talk about?
• Where do I willingly spend my time and money?

By understanding your core values, you can set goals that align with what genuinely drives you.

Step 2: Connect Your Goal to Your Values

If a goal doesn’t directly align with your values, find ways to connect it. For example, if you want to lose weight but struggle with motivation, think about how achieving that goal can support something you care about.

If business growth is your highest priority, ask yourself:

• How does improving my fitness help me be a better business owner?
• Does building discipline in the gym translate to better discipline in my work?
• Will having more energy allow me to be more productive and focused?

If family is your top value, consider:

• Will being healthier allow me to be more present and active with my loved ones?
• How does my personal health impact my ability to care for my family?

Step 3: List 50 to 100 Benefits of Achieving Your Goal

One of the most powerful exercises to reinforce goal commitment is writing down at least 50 to 100 reasons why achieving your goal benefits you. This forces your brain to link the goal to your highest values and helps shift your mindset.

For example, if your goal is to exercise five times a week, list all the ways it benefits you. Some examples might include:

• Boosting confidence, which helps in social or professional interactions
• Improving energy levels, allowing for more productivity
• Setting a positive example for colleagues, employees, or children
• Enhancing mental clarity, leading to better decision-making

The more connections you make, the stronger your commitment becomes.

Step 4: Expect Challenges and Stay Resilient

Most people give up on goals because they encounter obstacles and assume they aren’t capable of following through. However, challenges are inevitable. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is how they respond to setbacks.

When difficulties arise:

• Reassess your values – Are you still connected to why this goal matters?
• Revisit your list of benefits – Remind yourself of all the reasons to stay committed.
• Adjust your approach – If one strategy isn’t working, try another without abandoning the goal entirely.

Achieve More by Setting the Right Goals

By ensuring that your goals align with your deepest values, you increase your chances of success. Rather than relying on fleeting motivation, you create internal drive that sustains you through challenges.

The next time you set a goal, take the time to:

• Confirm that it truly matters to you.
• Connect the required actions to what you value most.
• List at least 50 reasons why achieving it benefits your life.

By following this process, you’ll stop struggling with discipline and start naturally moving toward your goals with greater consistency and energy.

Additional Resources

• Free Yourself from Motivation and Follow Your Inspiration
• Why It’s All About Balance in Life and How to Find It
• The Key to Personal Growth: A Balance of Support and Challenge